Is beating a solution ?

Dear Parents

If a child does any mistake like lies,watches excess TV, does not complete his homework or shows any sort of misbehavior, what will you do as a parent?

As expected, you will first try to politely explain by delivering a long lecture on what is good and bad, how he must behave and how he must not which the child may listen very carefully but once you complete, no improvement can be seen.
If he repeats, this time you will get angry and scold which may show some improvement in behavior for some time. If such mischief continues, you will either beat or give punishment.

So, the steps most of the parents follow are : Explaining -> Scolding -> Punishing

Does the child improve ?
- NO

Is there any long term improvement ?
- NO

Some parents will still repeat this process again and again while others will leave everything to destiny.
In both the cases - ' NO POSITIVE OUTCOMES'.

This process is categorized under *Traditional Parenting* which no longer helps.


Let us improvise our traditional parents with this evolving era. God has given you a beautiful gift in the form of a child because he had faith on you to take care, not to leave his future on him, on destiny.

A child psychology works under 4 steps :
INCIDENT - > EMOTION - > BELIEF - > BEHAVIOR

Beating is an incident to change behavior without knowing the fact that beating for every small mischief will make you (parents) absent from the emotional periphery of the child and something, which is out of emotional periphery can never bring a change, no matter what!

An example to make it more clear -
If you, as parents, want a mango from mango tree and are not able to climb, you'll hit the stone to get it down. Now we have two probabilities of getting it - Either we will directly hit the mango or the stem to which mango is attached. You may get the mango in both the cases but if the mango is directly hit by the stone, you will ruin the mango. You actually have to target the stem.
Similarly,
Do not try to cut the behavior by beating otherwise the child will find different ways of fulfilling what he want to do because beating has decreased your emotional attachment and hence is of no use. Besides, connect emotionally and amend the belief which will automatically result into a gradual change in behavior.

The application of Traditional Parenting will result into a stubborn child and ruin his behavior.
The child needs you not your sticks.

Worried about decreasing humanity in your child?

Dear Parents

You all might be worried about day to day diminishing humanity in your child but have you ever wondered for the root of this cause? Its Parenting. Yes! The wrong parenting. The way we talk to our kids results into an individual having personality with less humanity no matter how many famous proverbs the child is learning for being a good human. Let me make my words more clear.

Whenever the child comes back home from school, the very first question that is asked by everyone : “How much you scored?” or “What was your position in competition?” or “Did your teacher appreciate you for something?” and all such competitive stuff. Have you ever tried to ask your child if he had made anyone smile or if he had helped anyone? The answer is - NEVER!

Your questions makes the child interpret or forces the child to interpret that no matter what! I have to stand first in every field. I have to win my friends, schoolmates, playmates, and everyone around me for this is the one and only way to make my parents happy. So when the child ultimately reaches the age of 21, or you can say becomes an adult, he is well aware of the fact that he is not supposed to help anyone and becomes rude otherwise he may lose. The threat of losing makes him a person with no or less humanity. He has learnt how to mend his ways to win - by hook or by crook, for, winning makes his parents happy and proud. So, the reason is - growing competition. The reason why today’s generation is not ready to help anyone or no longer cares about other’s smile. The parents should understand individual differences and know that their child is unique in his own strengths and weaknesses. Do not force your child to compete with others instead motivate him to compete with himself, with his past to reach the apex in his own interest.

Education should impart not only the knowledge of subjects but should develop a good human out of them. Education is to make the child independent and live a respectful life, helping and making other’s smile. This is what we should develop out of a child. Let the child bloom in his own stream. Marks are important but above all, happiness is important. Children must be happy with what they are doing. Make sure that the child is building a life he doesn’t need a vacation from. ‘Education is beyond marks, Education is beyond grades, Education is what you learn.’

Make your child a leader who helps everyone grow rather than a boss who wants everyone to follow! Be humble. Be kind. Respect humanity.